Dawn of the Wolf
by Chibi PO'd Hiei
Summary: What happens when a crazy girl with the wolf demon inside her decides to have some fun with Naruto and Gaara? Total chaos. Rated T for possible violence. No yaoi or pairings.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: This is the very first fanfiction that I've posted so please don't flame me. Constructive criticism and suggestions are always appreciated, but no flames please. Also, this is during the very beginning of the Shippuden arc so Naruto's personality is a little more mature at times. Other than that enjoy the story. DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto, Masashi Kishimoto does.

'_thoughts' _"regular talking" '**demon talking in person's head**' "**demon talking through person**"

Naruto Uzumaki had just settled down in the room he had rented at the local inn after another uneventful day of waiting. He looked up at the ceiling as he lay on his back, fully dressed, on his bed and sighed as he remembered the events that had brought him there. After returning to Konoha from his travels with Jiraiya, the pervy sage, the council had questioned his loyalty to the village. If Jiraiya and Tsunade hadn't been there to vouch for him…He didn't want to think about what would have happened. The council had always hated him because of the nine tailed Kyuubi. They were looking for an excuse to get rid of him. They always had, and he knew that they always would, especially since he failed to retrieve Sasuke from the valley of the end two years ago.

The council and the two sannin came to a compromise after several hours of debating. If Naruto could capture the number one criminal in the ANBU bingo book, he would be reinstated as a Konoha ninja and promoted to the Chunin level. So that was why he was out here in the middle of nowhere. He was looking for Ookami no Akira, the container of the eight tailed wolf Myobi. The information on her was next to nothing. All he knew was that she was involved with the Mist village ninja before going insane. She was his age, had light blue hair, and silver eyes.

Apparently, any ninja who went after her never returned. Other than that, he knew zip, zilch, nada about the infamous kunoichi. Naruto in one of his more brilliant ideas let it be known that he was tracking her so she would come to him, and he chose a remote location so fewer civilians would be involved. Now, he was on day fifty-one of waiting for Akira to show, and he was starting to run low on cash. He sighed and rolled over to see that someone was standing there, toying with a kunai. Naruto instantly jumped up and drew his own kunai.

"Naruto Uzumaki?" she asked as though they were chatting over tea instead of in a potentially deadly situation. Naruto narrowed his eyes at her. Light blue hair, silver slitted eyes, wolfish features, nails resembling claws, fighting clothes, female, and appeared to be his age. "Ookami no Akira the Myobi container," Naruto stated in reply. "Aww, you guessed so quickly. That's no fun," she pouted as an insane light began burning in her eyes. "Enough talking already! In the name of Konoha, I now place you under arrest, dattebayo!"

A feral smirk slowly crept across Akira's face. "Do you now? You seem to be under the impression that I'll just come along like a good little doggy. Well, that would be so very boring, and I hate being bored. You see when I get bored-" The world will never know what happens when Ookami no Akira gets bored because she never finished on account of Naruto throwing a forty shuriken at her! His look of triumph changed to one of shock as Akira caught, yes caught, all forty shuriken out of the air! "What? You didn't actually think that I'd be stupid enough to get caught monologuing did you? I'm crazy, not stupid," she said her voice dripping with contempt.

"**Stupid enough to fall for it!" **a demonic voice said behind Akira. She turned around to come face to face with a Kyuubified Naruto who had five tails of power out, and he wasn't afraid to use them. Before Akira could even respond, the force of Kyuubi-Naruto's chakra knocked her out cold. (AN: yes she's more powerful than Orochimaru and Itachi, but you try to take down Naruto when he's using five tails of the Kyuubi's power, and she was caught completely off guard.) When Akira awoke, she was hand cuffed with chakra restraints and, well, handcuffs.

Naruto watched her, on guard for anything. "So you have a demon too," she said, "The nine-tailed Kyuubi, right?" Naruto nodded. "Rumor has it that you can also summon a frog," Akira pried. Naruto didn't reply to that because he didn't want to give out too much information, and he still wasn't sure how Akira was going to react to being captured. The thing was she didn't react, at all. Then when Naruto announced that it was time to head for Konoha Akira jumped up and started singing,"On the toad again, on the toad again, making jutsu with my friends...I just can't wait to be on the toad again!" (AN: I don't own the song: On the Road Again).

After seven days of fighting off tracker ninja and bounty hunters who wanted the reward for catching Akira and getting hopelessly lost at one point, they finally arrived at the border of the lands of Wind and Fire where they were greeted by the Gaara who had been hired by Tsunade and Jiraiya to help Naruto bring Akira to Konoha.While Gaara and Naruto caught up, Akira sat down under a tree, and Naruto was just telling Gaara how he captured her when Sasuke showed up. "Gaara, you beat me during our fight at the Chunnin exams, but now I will prove that I am more powerful than a demon container!" "Oh, brother," Akira cut in, "Now that's just plain pathetic! The guy beat you years ago, get over it!" "Who asked you?! Stay out of this you stupid woman!" "What did you just call me?" Akira said, her every word dripping with the promise of a slow and painful death.

Before the verbal abuse could continue Kabuto arrived on the scene. He had obviously been coming after Sasuke since there was no other logical explanation on why he was there, but when he saw the look on Akira's face he wet his pants and ran away screaming like a little girl. Obviously, Sasuke didn't have a sense of self preservation because he kept talking. "As I was saying, once I've killed Gaara I'm coming after you dobe," he said looking pointedly at Naruto, "And then I'll finally be strong enough to kill Itachi!" "Not on my watch, Sasgay," Akira yelled, "No body is killing them but me!" With that she gave one burst of chakra which broke her chains and shattered the chakra restraints.

Akira then lunged for Sasuke and punched him back into the dense underbrush. Ten seconds later Sasuke was screaming bloody murder and begging for mercy. Suddenly, everything went as silent as the grave, and Akira strode back into view wearing a psychopathic grin. Needless to say Naruto and Gaara were disturbed beyond all reason. "What did you do to Sasgay, I-I mean Sasuke?!" Naruto demanded. "Come and see,"Akira replied leading them through the forest. There was Sasuke, singing the Barbie girl song (AN: I don't own that song either) and was as pale as Orochimaru. "What are you doing to him?!" Naruto yelled. "Well, this is known as the karioke no jutsu. It forces him to sing the most annoying songs ever created, and he can't stop until he's sung them all, muhahahahaha!!!" "Hn,"Gaara stated,"It's a simple jutsu. Release!" With that, Sasgay was free, and his sense of self preservation finally kicked in because he started running and didn't look back.

Akira looked slightly impressed. "Not bad. You aren't half bad at all. I think that I'll play The Game with you two. Hahahahaha!" Akira burst out into maniacal laughter, again. "I'm afraid to ask," Naruto began, "but what's The Game?" "You'll know it when you see it." With that Akira disappeared seemingly into thin air. "Gaara, what did she mean by all that?" "It means that we just became her new play things, and when she gets bored we're dead men." "This is bad. I'm going to go warn grandma Tsunade that she escaped." Gaara nodded to show that he understood, although he was very tempted to sarcastically thank Naruto for pointing out the obvious, but he was Gaara and he didn't do sarcasm.

He was still thinking about how stupid that last line Naruto said was when he arrived at Suna. It was then that he noticed that the only entrance to the village was boarded up as high as the surrounding cliffs. That and the fact that he could hear the villagers panicking told Gaara that he was in for a rough homecoming. He used his sand to teleport to the top of the cliffs and was momentarily stunned. The entire village was being flooded by water. Someone was summoning a huge supply of water into the village, and since the entrance was sealed it was all pooling inside the cliffs. Now normal flooding is bad in and of itself.

However, every building in the village was partially made out of sand which was being washed away by the water making the buildings weak, and when panicking villagers try to stay on top of weak buildings to escape the rapidly rising water, buildings collapse. Add all of that to the fact that only the ninja in the village knew how to swim and the Kazekage tower was the only building left and you were watching the destruction of Suna. "Let the games begin!" Akira's voice reverberated through out the area. Her words snapped Gaara out of his temporary paralysis. "Alright, if that's how you want to play it take this!"

Using all of his strength Gaara summoned the water logged sand and formed it into sand tentacles that grabbed all of the villagers and moved them to safety. As soon as the last villager was on the cliffs, Gaara fell to his knees and began to pant heavily. Immediately the boards at the village entrance and all the water disappeared. He heard measured clapping behind him. Gaara didn't even need to turn around to know that it was Akira. "Nice. Very nice." "This is between you and me. Keep the village out of it!" "Of course, besides I know that Naruto's been dying to see me." Gaara gave her a look that clearly said 'don't you dare!' "Perfect. Now, I know who my next target will be!" She said before disappearing again.

The only thing that registered in Gaara's mind at that moment was '_Oh crap._' Gaara ran faster than he had ever run before. All he could think about was all the horrors and destruction that Akira was causing. He ran through out the night and didn't take one single break. Just when he thought that he couldn't go any further, he saw Konoha on the horizon.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Okay so I finally got chapter 2 up! Any reviews would be appreciated, no flames please, because thirty people have checked out the story, but no one has reviewed yet. Now, here is Gaara with the disclaimer...

Gaara: Do it yourself.

Chibi PO'd Hiei: Do it before I sic Akira on you!

Gaara: Chibi PO'd Hiei does not own Naruto, that's why it's known as a fanfiction.

Recap: The only thing that registered in Gaara's mind at that moment was '_Oh crap._' Gaara ran faster than he had ever run before. All he could think about was all the horrors and destruction that Akira was causing. He ran through out the night and didn't take one single break. Just when he thought that he couldn't go any further, he saw the village on the horizon.

Everything looked normal. He walked through the gates. The people were chatting, the shops were open, everything was absolutely normal. Gaara was dumbfounded and incredibly relieved at the same time. Then he heard a familiar voice calling, "Hey, Gaara! Over here!" He turned around to see Naruto and Akira drinking tea and eating dango together like they were old friends. Years of training himself to show no emotion were the only things that kept his jaw from dropping to the ground. "Ha! I win, Naruto, now pay up!" Akira said in triumph. "Aww, man! If you would have gotten here fifteen seconds sooner, Gaara, the food would have been on her!" Naruto whined.

"Do you mean to tell me," Gaara said, struggling to control his rage, "that I nearly killed myself to get here because I thought you were all going to die, and you were eating dango and drinking tea and BETTING ON WHEN I WAS GOING TO SHOW UP!" "Uh, Gaara." "No, don't even start with me, Naruto. My village was DESTROYED, I ran from Suna to here NONSTOP-" "Gaara!" "And this whole time you were HANGING OUT WITH THE ENEMY!" "GAARA!" "WHAT?!" Naruto pointed behind him. It was then and only then that Gaara realized that Akira had disappeared while he had been ranting and raving.

He slowly turned around to see a tornado the size of a mountain barreling straight for Konoha. Naruto narrowed his eyes and had that pained expression that signified that he was thinking. "Hey, Gaara. Is that a tornado made from chakra?" "I would have to say, no freaking duh!" "Oh, I know exactly what to do, but we've got to find the pervy sage fast!" Naruto shouted taking off like a rocket with Gaara right behind him.

Jiraiya was in Tsunade's office getting the lecture of a lifetime. "And finally, those disgusting things that you call novels WILL BE BANNED!" Suddenly, the door burst open and Naruto ran in and skidded to a halt in front of Tsunade's desk as Gaara calmly walked in behind him. "Grandma Tsunade! I need to find the pervy sage right now!" "Uh, Naruto," Gaara said, "He's standing right behind you." "Hm? Oh, yeah…Anyways, pervy sage I need the ultra rare super deluxe platinum edition of Icha Icha Paradise right now!" Everyone else did an anime fall. "Naruto," Gaara said through gritted teeth, "This is no time to be reading PORN!" Tsunade on the other hand had pulled out a katana and was oozing with blood lust directed at a certain toad sage for telling Naruto about porn.

"Here!" Jiraiya said, tossing Naruto the super shiny silver book before running for his life with Tsunade one murderous heart beat behind him. Naruto and Gaara then ran back to the village gates as fast as they could. "Naruto, we need a plan, not a porn book!" "I AM NOT GOING TO READ IT!!! See, I learned by training for the rasengan that swirling your chakra is really hard and takes a lot of concentration to work, even on a small scale so…" Naruto caught a beam of sunlight on the super shiny book and shined it right into Akira's eyes. And you guessed it, the tornado instantly disappeared. Gaara patted Naruto on the back, "Naruto, I'm sorry that I ever doubted you." Akira had this to say, "I was beaten by a PORN NOVEL?! I have NEVER been so humiliated…Oh, I'm going to get them for this!"

Meanwhile, Tsunade had chased Jiraiya all the way to where Naruto and Gaara were and had seen the whole thing. When what had happened finally sank in, the katana slid from her fingers. "I don't believe it. Jiraiya's porn saved the village?" Jiraiya was doing the victory dance, "Oh yeah, oh yeah. Come on, Tsunade what was that you were saying about how all my novels were trash and should be burned, hmm? Oh and don't forget about how you were going to BAN my village saving masterpieces." Tsunade shook her head, "Oh, I'm never going to live this down. I need a drink!" She proceeded to run like a mad woman to the nearest bar.

Akira in the meantime had seemingly dropped off the face of the earth. She didn't reappear for the rest of the day either. Gaara decided to stay the night at Naruto's house because she was targeting them and there was safety in numbers. Gaara couldn't sleep because of the Shukaku, and Naruto kept waking up every five minutes expecting to see Konoha in flames. As they fretted over what new horror Akira had in store for them, they didn't notice the two silver eyes gleaming in the dark from the window directly across from theirs. "That's right, you better be afraid because tomorrow you'll wish you'd never seen an Icha Icha book in your lives."

The next morning Gaara and Naruto felt what they had been dreading through out the night. They sensed Akira's chakra. They tore out the door and down the street searching for Akira's location. "Oh no," Naruto wailed, "Not Ichiraku Ramen! ANYTHING but the ramen stand!" Yes, the Ichiraku Ramen stand. Gaara and Naruto took a few deep breaths, but nothing could have prepared them for what they saw next…

Chibi PO'd Hiei: What did they see? How will Akira exact her revenge?

Naruto: Who cares about that?! What did she do to the ramen stand?!

Chibi PO'd Hiei: You'll have to wait for chapter three to find out.

Naruto: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!


	3. Chapter 3

AN: First, I would like to thank SaphiraMorgan and ifyouloveme2 for the reviews because it really made my day and inspired me to load up chapter 3! Naruto will do the honors for the disclaimer!

Naruto: Okay, Chibi PO'd Hiei does NOT own me or any of my affiliations, Masashi Kishimoto does, dattebayo!

Recap: The next morning Gaara and Naruto felt what they had been dreading through out the night. They sensed Akira's chakra. They tore out the door and down the street searching for Akira's location. "Oh no," Naruto wailed, "Not Ichiraku Ramen! ANYTHING but the ramen stand!" Yes, the Ichiraku Ramen stand. Gaara and Naruto took a few deep breaths, but nothing could have prepared them for what they saw next…

Akira was in a pink frilly apron cooking ramen. That's right, pink frilly apron and cooking the ramen. How did the guys react? Well, let's just say their eyes looked like they were about to pop out of their skulls as they practically collapsed into the bar stools at the counter. "Who are you and what have you done with Akira?!" Naruto gasped in shock.

"Hmm? Er, well, you see I've been thinking, and what I've done to you two, well, it wasn't right. I guess I'm trying to…ap-apol-apple…able…no that's not it…" "Apologize," Gaara prompted. "Right! I wanted to apologize! So I made you breakfast!" With a flourish, Akira produced two bowls of breakfast ramen with the two eggs for eyes and the bacon arranged to make a smiley face on top. "Oh, boy!" Naruto immediately began digging in and uttering sounds that people only make when eating something really tasty. Gaara on the other hand picked at it, looking for anything suspicious and was watching Naruto to see if he suddenly dropped dead. He then looked at Akira, who gave him the sad puppy dog eyes.

"You don't like it?" she asked sounding like she was about to burst into tears. A thought crossed Gaara's mind, '_Crap! I can't resist the eyes. Oh, great. Now she's going to cry? How can someone so evil make me feel so guilty?_' He looked back down and ate the ramen. To his surprise it was actually really good. After he finished, the boys looked up to thank Akira only to see her evil smirk. They went from being pleasantly surprised to terrified in that instant. "Boys, two; me one," Akira said with evil delight, as the boys' bowels started moving, and she held up an empty bottle of laxatives.

"What?" Gaara started,"But I ate the ramen after Naruto!" Akira's evil smirk widened as she also produced an empty bottle of fast acting laxitives. "I hate you..."Gaara growled before he and Naruto couldn't take it anymore and ran as fast as they could for the nearest bathroom. Fortunately, the boys found a bathroom next to the hot springs in time. Unfortunately, they were there for five hours. When they got out, they came face to face with Akira.

Before Naruto or Gaara could do or say anything she started sniffing, yes you read correctly sniffing. "Whew! You boys reek!" "No thanks to you!" Naruto shouted and Gaara just growled at her. "I think you boys need a bath,"she said with an evil spark in her eyes. "What? No-"Naruto was cut off as Akira quickly grabbed both him and Gaara and bodily threw them into the hot springs where they both landed in the water unharmed.

"Ha! You missed! We hit the water, dattebayo!"Naruto crowed in triumph. "But now our clothes are wet..."Gaara said. "Oh yeah..."Naruto muttered as he realized that they were now soaking wet. "Hey, Naruto." "Yeah, Gaara." "Is it just me...or do you sense a huge amount of bloodlust right behind us?" They turned around and stared death in the eyes, or at least in the form of the thirty women who had previously been bathing in the hot spring. Yes, Akira had thrown them into THE WOMENS side of the hotspring.

"Gaara, quick use your sand and get us out of here!" Naruto whispered out the side of his mouth. "I can't! It got wet and turned to mud!" Gaara whispered back. "Oh, well, then RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!" With the obvious being shouted loud enough for half of Konoha to hear, Naruto and Gaara ran straight for the fence and jumped over it, only to land on the one and only SuperPervert who had been doing some 'research'.

"Hey, there's three of them! GET THEM!!!!!!!" With that the thirty women began chasing Naruto, Gaara, and the Toad Sage (AN: if you don't know who I'm talking about by now...nuff said) through the village. The three of them were running for the village gates, and they would've made it out the gates and into the freedom beyond them...but Akira had other plans. She was already at the gates waiting for them along with Tsunade and Anko.

Ah, yes, Tsunade and Anko the two biggest pervert haters in the ninja world who had heard Akira's side of the story first and were out for pervert and falsely accused pervert blood. The two kunoichi struck so quickly and so brutally that neither Naruto, Gaara, or Jiraiya knew they were attacking until it was too late. Anko kicked the three of them in the place no man wants to be kicked hard enough to launch them into the air where Tsunade followed up with a super powered punch to the gut that sent them spiraling down to the waiting very angry women below. Those women were also out for blood, and they were on the two jinchuuriki and perverted Sannin like bridesmaids on a wedding boquet (AN: seriously those women are SCARY).

Jiraiya at this point managed to use his many, many years of experience evading angry women in a mob to use a substitution and escape with what little dignity he had left. However, Naruto and Gaara were not so fortunate, especially Gaara who was without a sand shield and armor and unaccustomed to pain of any kind. They were punched, slapped, kicked, hit with various objects, kicked again, slapped again, trampled, yelled at until their ears nearly bled, and many other forms of beating and mobbing.

It was night by the time the women were through with those poor innocent boys. Battered and bruised, they dragged themselves to Naruto's apartment where they collapsed on the couch. Naruto was out like a light instantly, but Gaara didn't have the luxury of sleeping the pain away. He sat there, nearly at the breaking point, waiting for his sand to slowly return...

Poor Naruto and Gaara...I wonder what new horror Akira has in store for them...Find out next time! You won't be disappointed!


	4. Chapter 4

Hi everyone! This is officially the longest chapter yet. It's about 2400 words long. However, I must say that this is also my favorite chapter so far so I hope you like it! Now here's the disclaimer.

I do NOT OWN NARUTO! Masashi Kishimoto does. However, Akira and Myobi are mine, muhahahahahaha!!!

"regular talking" '_thinking_' **'demon talking inside someones mind'**

After waiting all night, Gaara's sand had returned. It had been an agonizingly slow wait as the sand came back to him grain by grain, but by 8 o'clock all of his sand had returned and formed his trade mark gourd again. Due to the fact that Gaara had Shukaku and Naruto had the Kyuubi, all of their wounds were healed by the demons. Naruto was still sleeping when there was a knock on the door. Gaara raced to the door as Naruto jumped up like someone had lit a fire under him. Gaara reached the door and used his sand and ninja senses to see if it was a trap.

What he found was a note that said, "I have Tsunade and her assistant Shizune held captive in the Hokage Tower. You have fifteen minutes to get there before the Hokage and her assistant meet a wolfish friend of mine...Akira." "Oh man, she's got grandma Tsunade and Shizune!" "...I don't know..."Gaara hesitated, "How do we know for sure? Knowing Akira-" "Knowing Akira she could be torturing them!" "Good point..." With that Gaara and Naruto were out the apartment door and running down the street at top speed.

It was then that they noticed that they were running down the main street and there were no people anywhere. It was like they were running through a ghost town. Suddenly, the air turned frigid and walls of ice sprang up out of nowhere. Naruto and Gaara skidded to a halt as three walls of ice rose around them. Let's listen to their thoughts. Naruto thought, '_Oh no...we just ran right into a trap like a couple of idiots!' _and Gaara thought, '_I had a feeling something like this would happen.' "_What is this place? What kind of trap is this?" Naruto wondered out loud.

An image of Akira became reflected in the ice wall, "Welcome to my ice maze." "Akira, let us out of here!" Naruto yelled. Akira took a thinking pose, "Hmm...No. Unfortunately, the ice maze technique is different then all the others. You see, once I construct it the only way out is to solve it." "What no hint?" Naruto said sarcastically. "Well since you asked, watch out for dead ends because they're really dead ends. Oh, and I'd start moving if I was you because the maze attacks if you stop for more than twenty seconds or so..." As soon as she said that, Akira's image vanished and a barrage of ice kunai began firing at Gaara and Naruto!

Luckily they were protected by Gaara's sand, but the boys started moving just incase Akira started setting better traps then kunai. "Aw man...How are we supposed to get out of here? We don't even know how big this place is!" Naruto complained as they walked very cautiously to the first maze corridor. Gaara quickly glanced around, "I have an idea," he formed several hand seals, "Third eye jutsu!" Sure enough an eye made entirely of sand floated up over the maze. "Hmm...Akira really went all out on this one. The maze stretches over the entire village." "Well, we're at the first corridor, Gaara. Which way do we go?" "Right...Oh crap!" Gaara started running down the corridor.

He glanced back at a stunned Naruto. "Naruto, run!" he almost shouted. However, it was too little too late. Naruto heard something move behind him. He turned around to see two seven foot tigers made completely out of ice. They had seven inch fangs and six inch razor sharp claws. Lets just say you didn't want to mess with one of those kitties. As soon as they saw Naruto and Gaara they roared and began running straight for them, and Naruto began running for his life. He raced after Gaara down the corridor which only turned left, then down that one. The ice tigers were gaining on them with every stride.

Naruto looked ahead and saw another fork in the maze. "Gaara, I have a plan!" "What is it?!" "When we get to the fork you go right and I'll go left, then just do exactly what I do!" There was no more time to talk as they reached the fork with the ice tigers right on their heels. Gaara dodged right, Naruto swerved left, one tiger went left, and the other went right. Gaara glanced back and saw Naruto sliding between the tiger's legs heading in his direction, and he realized the plan. He quickly turned and slid between his ice tiger's legs towards Naruto. The two tigers turned and leaped for their prey at the same time, colliding together and shattering them into a million pieces.

The boys got up slowly. "Next time you say run I'm right behind you, Gaara." "Hn." "So which way now?" Gaara reattached the third eye and started looking around. Then he suddenly turned very pale and an expression of absolute horror crossed his face. "What is it, Gaara? More ice tigers?" "No...worse..." "What could be worse?" "Naruto...she put our FANGIRLS in the maze!" Naruto fell to his knees, "NOOO-UMMMMFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The umf sound was made when Gaara covered Naruto's mouth with his hands in an attempt to stifle the death wail. "Quiet you idiot!" He hissed, "They'll hear you!" Naruto nodded and Gaara uncovered his mouth. "Gaara, what are we going to do?" "I don't know...let me think...I've got it! Naruto you run left through my fangirls, and I'll run right through your fangirls. Then you stay put, and I'll come get you." "Great idea! See ya on the other side."

So they seperated, Naruto ran to the left, and Gaara ran right. Then the unthinkable happened...The maze shifted. Gaara was sent running head long right into his horde of adoring rabid fangirls. "It's Gaara-kun!!!" "Lets glomp him!" "Lets rip off his clothes and sell them on e-bay!!" "SQUEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!" The fangirls were fast and determined, but Gaara was faster and had a strong sense of self preservation. He barely managed to pull himself out of the fangirls' grasps and started running back the way he came as fast as he could with his adoring fans a heartbeat behind him. "Curse you Akira!!" he shouted, "You cheater! You changed the maze!" An image of Akira appeared, running on the wall beside him, "Well you used your third eye jutsu!" "Grr...How can someone so twisted have a good comeback?!" Akira just shrugged, "It's a gift." Then her image vanished.

Gaara raced to where he told Naruto to run, and he found him being glomped unmercifully by rabid fangirls. He was pretty sure that Naruto was going to be crushed to death under the mass of bodies if he didn't get out soon. So Gaara did what Gaara did best. A wave of sand and a couple of sand funeral jutsus later, Naruto and Gaara were running for their lives with their combined mob of fans tailing them. "Naruto, I've got it!" "You thought of a plan?!" "Yep." "Better then the last one?" "Yes...here's what we do...whisperwhisperwhisper." "Gaara, you're a genius!" "Sharp left!"

They turned left into a dead end. Then they waited as their fangirls swarmed in. "Naruto, now!" Naruto and Gaara jumped up and started running out of the dead end on the fangirls' shoulders. Suddenly, the walls sprouted spikes and an ice wall started rising, beginning to cut off the exit. They both put on an extra burst of speed and just barely made it out of the death trap. They stopped panting and turned to see what horrible end their fangirls would suffer. It appeared that they would be caught in between the spikes and impaled to death, but just as the spikes were about to reach the frightened fans the three walls around them melted away, releasing them while keeping Naruto and Gaara trapped in the maze.

"What?! We're stuck here, but she lets the fangirls go?!"Naruto ranted,"Gah! I can't take much more of this!" "Naruto come on. We aren't going to get out of here any faster just standing around." "Wait a minute! I just had a great idea! Why don't we just run on top of the walls and jump from wall to wall?" "That might work...come on." Unfortunately, as soon as their feet touched the top of the wall there was a burst of light, and they were right back at the beginning of the maze."What?! NO WAY!! This is crazy, dattebayo!" "Hmph...she even changed the maze again!"

While Naruto and Gaara were cursing the day that Akira decided to play with them. Akira was in the Hokage Tower lounge room watching them through the Hokage's crystal ball which she stole that morning. She was sipping cola and eating popcorn like she was watching a soap opera. A demented torture filled soap opera. 'Hmm...what to do next, what to do next?' she pondered. **'What do you mean, what to do next? KILL THEM!' **'Aww...but that's no fun...' **'Fun?! This is sick, twisted, demented, sadistic, inhumane, and just plain WRONG! I'm SO proud of you!!'** 'Thank you, Myobi! Now any ideas on what to do next?' She could feel the wolf inside her slowly break out into a feral grin.

Back in the ice maze, Naruto and Gaara were carefully walking down the corridors when Akira's image reappeared in the wall. "Hello boys!"she said almost perkily. "What do want now?"Naruto snapped. "Well, I was just making sure I told you about the little time glitch." "Time glitch?"Gaara asked. "Yes, you see you only have two hours to solve the ice maze before everything inside it freezes, and after that it explodes, shattering everything inside it, that would be you guys, into teeny tiny little pieces!" "What?!" Naruto and Gaara shouted. "Oh and you only have," Akira checks a random clock, "Ten minutes left, have fun!"

"Ahh!!! She's trying to kill us! She's trying to kill us!"Naruto panicked. "Naruto, shut up!" Gaara snapped. "What are we going to do?" "We're going to run for the exit and hope she can't set up traps fast enough!" "Okay, lets go!" So they started running faster than they'd ever run before. Down one way, they had to dodge rolling ice boulders, and down the next the floor fell away into a pit of ice spikes. They rounded a corner and encountered nothing unusual. "Ha, this is great!" Naruto said. Gaara on the other hand was not so sure. It was way too easy, and the traps were way too generic. Where was that sadistic twist that screamed Akira made this?

"Naruto, the exit's just around the corner!" "Yatta! We're getting out of here!" They rounded the corner and came face to face with the sadistic twist. Standing in front of them were two perfect replicas of themselves. "Huh? What's going on?"Naruto said, completely confused. "...What are you," Gaara demanded. "We're flesh and blood clones of you two,"clone Gaara answered. "Yeah," clone Naruto continued, "Akira-dana (AN: means master Akira) created us using your DNA." "Where did she get that?!" the real Naruto shouted. "Apparently your fangirls were selling it on e-bay," clone Gaara answered. "This is why I HATE fangirls!" the real Gaara growled. "You know," clone Naruto started, "You only have five minutes left." Cue the staring down contest before a major battle.

A small gust of wind blew across the maze, rustling everyone's clothes. Then the battle began with the two Gaara's fighting for control of the sand as the two Naruto's used a dual rasengan, trying to over power each other. Seeing his chance, the real Gaara turned his gourd into sand and slammed it into clone Gaara and pushed him right in the middle of the two rasengans. Blood went flying everywhere and temporarily blinded Gaara as it splashed his face. When he finally rubbed it out of his eyes, he grabbed both Naruto's with his sand and pulled them apart.

The only problem was that he no longer knew who the real Naruto was. "Gaara, what are you doing?" "Don't tell me that you can't tell which is which?!" Gaara immediately used his sand to crush the second one, who turned out to be clone Naruto. "Wow, how'd you know it was me?" "You would've never caught on that quickly." "Hehe...Hey wait a sec, what do you mean by that?!" "My point exactly. Now lets get out of here." They both turned and started running towards the exit as Akira flashed a two minute warning on the walls, but they didn't care.

There was the exit, and they were drawing closer to it with every step. They were just one step away from freedom when the maze shifted, and they ran right into the wall. Naruto and Gaara quickly got back up on their feet. "WHAT?!!! You can't do that! That's not fair, dattebayo!" "Curse you, you crazy wolf!"Gaara yelled in frustration, "You put is in a maze with no way out!" Suddenly, the walls melted away and the temperature returned to normal. "Wow, it sure took you long enough," Akira said as she came out of the Hokage Tower.

"Huh? Wait, what?" Naruto sputtered. "Gaara figured it out," Akira said. "Wait, a minute,"Gaara started getting angry, "Do you mean to tell me that all we had to do was say we couldn't get out?" "Yeah." "So we went through all of that for NOTHING,"Naruto yelled as he finally caught on. "Uh-huh," Akira replied. "That's it! You're going down, wolf!" Gaara finally snapped. "I'm going to tie you up and throw you in the jail, dattebayo!" "Uh-oh...um, bye!" Akira ran for it with a very angry Naruto and a former psychopathic murderer who is at the breaking point hot on her heels.

xxxxx

It seems that Naruto and Gaara may have finally turned the tables on Akira. Will she escape, or has the wolf girl's fun finally come to an end? Find out next time!


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Okay, hi everyone! Thank you for staying with my story for all this time! Also, I started a second story yesterday, so I will be alternating between stories for awhile. Now, let the madness continue, bwahahaha!!!!!!! Akira do the disclaimer!

Akira: Chibi PO'd Hiei does NOT own Naruto, Masashi Kishimoto does, but on the bright side she owns me and Myobi...Wow, not much of a bright side, what is she a sadist?

Me: Quiet you! Ahem, on with the story!

Recap: "Uh-oh...um, bye!" Akira ran for it with an angry Naruto and a former psychopathic murderer who is at the breaking point hot on her heels...

She was jumping from rooftop to rooftop through the village with Naruto jumping on all fours right behind her, and Gaara was riding on his sand platform after her. Akira couldn't seem to run fast enough to get away, but Gaara and Naruto couldn't go fast enough to catch her. Thus, the three of them ran out the gates and through the woods. Akira was dodging around trees and ducking through thorn bushes trying to shake them off her tail.

However, the boys were determined to catch her and stayed right with her no matter what tricks she pulled. All good things must come to an end, and in Akira's case it was a giant wall of rock that trapped her. "Ha! We've got you cornered, now surrender, dattebayo!" "Now, why would I do something like that?" Akira asked silkily. "Because if you don't, I'll sick Gaara on you!" "Guys," Gaara started, but he was ignored. "Why would he want to kill me?" Akira asked innocently. "Oh, I don't know, maybe because you tried to kill us!" Naruto shouted sarcastically. "Do you guys," Gaara started again, but was cut off by Akira. "Who said I was trying to kill you? I was just having some fun!" She was actually telling the truth that time. That fact in and of itself was enough to shock Naruto silent.

Finally, Gaara could get his question out, "Do you smell something burning?" "Huh?" Naruto said turning around. His face suddenly contorted with absolute horror. "Oh no, not again," Gaara said as he turned around apprehensively. Sure enough, just on the horizon they could see Konoha was on fire. Naruto turned back to Akira enraged. He held out the chakra restraining shackles. "Alright, you're under arrest, dattebayo!" However, before he could put the restraints on her, Akira gave her trademark evil smirk. "Now, now you didn't honestly think I'd let you catch me, did you?" With that she disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"WHAT? SHE WAS A SHADOW CLONE?!!!!" Naruto yelled loud enough for people in Suna to hear him. "Why am I not surprised. She obviously used the clone to lure us away from Konoha...clever," Gaara stated, just a little impressed. "Forget that!" Naruto yelled, "We've got to go save Konoha before it burns to the ground!" With that, the boys ran back to Konoha as fast as they could. When they arrived, the ninja were evacuating civilians and desperately fighting the raging inferno. In the midst of the melee, Tsunade and Jiraiya were frantically trying every jutsu they knew.

"Grandma Tsunade, why haven't you put it out yet?" "I would, but everything we do just makes it worse!" "We've tried everything," Jiraiya added, "Water techniques and earth techniques, sealings, regular water, regular earth, fire extinguishers...It all only makes the fire grow bigger!" "I'll try my sand," Gaara offered. He used his sand to pummel the flames, but the fire seemed to feed off of his sand and grew twice as large wherever the sand touched it. "I've got to hand it to her...She knows how to destroy..." "Now's not the time to be impressed!" Tsunade raged at Gaara. Naruto had that pained look on his face again.

"I think I might have an idea..." "Really? What is it, Naruto?!" Tsunade asked, what could she say he'd been on a roll lately. "We need to use fire ninjutsu," Naruto stated, completely serious for once. "Naruto, that's completly insane!" Jiraiya shouted. "It's AKIRA," Naruto shot back. "...He has a point," Gaara conceded, "Besides, what do we have to lose?" Tsunade looked undecided, then she shook her head in defeat. "Alright, we'll perform ONE fire jutsu to see what happens." "But who could we get to use a fire ninjutsu?!" Jiraiya asked. "I'll do it!" said a very familiar and very emo voice.

Tsunade, Jiraiya, Naruto, and Gaara whipped around to see Sasgay, oh I mean Sasgay...ehh whatever you know who he is, and Orochimaru standing there! "Sasgay, I mean Sasuke, what are you doing here?!" Naruto yelled. "Forget that, what's OROCHIMARU doing here?!" Tsunade shouted even louder then Naruto, woah didn't know that was possible. "Well, Tsunade, its MY dream to destroy Konoha, and I won't let some wolf brat rob me of my vengeance!" the Michael Jackson pedophile wanna be responded. (AN: dodges screaming Michael Jackson fans) "And I just wanted to get back at her for that embarrasing jutsu she hit me with earlier," the emo-king stated.

"Are you two going to help us, or just stand there monologuing?" Gaara asked. Sasugay glared at him, and began using the Uchiha clan fire techniques. It turns out that Naruto had hit the nail on the head. With every fire jutsu, the flames went down. Meanwhile, Tsunade and Jiraiya were joined by the ANBU, and Orochimaru was outlining a plan to bring down Akira. Unfortunately for him, that plan would never be used. Out of the flames came Akira in all of her craziness. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!!!!!" she snarled. "Oh, well time for plan B," Orochimaru said, "Akira, I challenge you for the right to destroy Konoha!"

"Oh, its ON now!" Akira snapped back, "NO ONE interferes with my game, NO ONE!!!!!!" "Kukuku...you don't know who you're messing with little girl!" Orochimaru taunted. Apparently he has no survival instinct because you don't taunt Akira when she's angry. She began rapidly forming hand seals, and she cut her hand and spread the blood over the seal on her right shoulder, "Forbidden ninja art: Demon summoning jutsu, the eight-tailed Myobi!" Immediately, an evil aura descended on the still burning leaf village.

Akira's form shimmered away, and in her place rose a seven story eight-tailed wolf. He had massive jaws with huge razor sharp fangs, and claws like katanas. He was midnight black, and his eyes looked like a bottomless pit with a blood red vertical slit. Myobi looked like a god of destruction with the flames roaring behind him as his tails fanned them to a greater intensity. "**Ahh, I'm outside of that wretched seal at last! Bow down and die before me!! AHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!**" Orochimaru wet his pants and ran away screaming like a little girl.

At least, he tried to run away. Myobi saw him running and decided that he would make an example out of him. He raised one massive paw, and SPLAT!!! He crushed Orochimaru like a bug. Everyone panicked. Sasgay, Naruto, Gaara, and the two remaining Sannin were still valiantly fighting a losing battle against the flames that were being super charged by the Myobi even as everyone else fled for their lives. "**Hmm...it would seem that the four of you are the only ones worth my time...except for the emo boy. You might be a challenge... Ah, I see the two guinea pigs are still trying to win the game, hehehe...You won't win because I'll do what the brat wouldn't and END YOUR EXISTENCE**!!!!!!!!"

"Oh, shut up Myobi!" Akira's voice rang out, "I told you, I'm not finished with them yet!" "**Can I at least eat, Sasgay**?" He begged. "Knock yourself out." With a grin that looked eerily similar to Akira's, Myobi gazed down at his prey. Sasgay fainted on the spot, thats right, fainted, and Myobi didn't even bother to crush him. He just fanned the flames over to the boy's body with one tail and burned him alive while laughing maniacally. (AN: Ding dong Sasgay's dead sing it high sing it low, let them know that the emo traitor's dead! And no I don't own the Wizard of Oz or any of the affiliated songs.) The good news: Sasgay was officially DEAD along with Orochimaru. Bad news: due to Myobi's presence Konoha was burned to the ground.

With the death of Sasgay and the destruction of Konoha complete, Myobi retreated back into the seal, and Akira re-emerged. She was so weak when she returned to normal that she collapsed in a dead faint. "Well, it cost me the village, but we've finally captured her," Tsunade stated. However, her relief didn't last because Akira's still form suddenly vanished. "What?!" Tsunade said in disbelief. "Why thank you for wearing her down for us, Tsunade," a dark voice stated mockingly. The good guys looked behind them to see Itachi with Akira thrown over his shoulder. "Now the Myobi is ours! Later losers!" With that Itachi disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

Tsunade and Jiraiya went to gather the ANBU and civilians together, completly unconcerned about Akira's fate. Actually, they were relieved that the Akatsuki had gotten her away from what was left of Konoha, and as far as they were concerned they couldn't take her far enough away. Gaara had this to say,"It's finally over. She's gone, and we can finally go back to our lives." "Yeah, but to an evil organization that will forcefully rip out her soul?" Naruto said genuinely concerned. "Oh, no. No, NO, NOO!!!!!!!!!! You are NOT going to give a sappy speech so we'll go charging into the unknown to save the girl who TORTURED us!" Gaara screamed.

"But, Gaara,"Naruto said, "She could've killed us at any time, and she didn't. She even protected us from the Myobi. I think that the reason she did what she did is because she's lonely like you were, like I was. She's never had anyone but the wolf demon. She acts all tough and crazy, but I bet that deep down all she wants is a friend. She was playing with us because she wanted us to notice her. She's just lonely, and if Akatsuki kill her she'll never know what its like to have a real friend. We've got to do it! She's just like we were, and we jinchuuriki have got to stick up for each other because if we don't, who will?"

"I can't believe you gave the inspirational speech, and now we're going to go save the girl who tormented us..." "We? Really, you mean it?!" Gaara just nodded. "Yatta! Let's go save Akira, dattebayo!" So the boys took off in pursuit of Itachi and Akira. They traveled for three days straight before they caught sight of the lair of Akatsuki. "Wow, who knew they were so close this whole time?" Naruto said. "Go figure," Gaara stated.

AN: So they've finally tracked down the Akatsuki. Will they save Akira before its too late? Will they be captured too? Will Konoha and Suna ever recover? Find out in the next exciting chapter!


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Sorry that it took me so long to update, but it took me awhile to think of what would happen to those poor guys when they finally braved the Akatsuki lair. Well, I won't keep you waiting any longer, and I hope that you enjoy it! Jiraiya do the disclaimer!

Jiraiya: Not now I'm doing some valuable research!

Me: Do it!

Jiraiya: Why should I?

Me: Because you owe me for making your porn save Konoha.

Jiraiya: Oh, yeah. Well in that case...Chibi PO'd Hiei DOES NOT OWN NARUTO!!!!! Now back to my research...

Recap: Akira was captured by Itachi and taken to the Akatsuki lair. Naruto gave the inspirational speech, and both Naruto and Gaara travelled for three days before finding the lair. "Wow, who knew they were so close this whole time?" Naruto said. "Go figure," Gaara stated.

"Alright, here's the plan," Naruto whispered excitedly, "You break down the door with your sand. Then I'll run in with my shadow clones and use the rasengan to create a big cloud of dust. Next, you'll-OUCH!!!! What did you hit me for?!" Yep, as you all heard Gaara had hit Naruto on the head, hard. "Naruto," Gaara said in exhasperation, "You don't go charging in through the front door! We need to sneak around back and break in." Naruto, however, wasn't going down without a fight, "Gaara, we've gone through a lot together since Akira came along, but I'm telling you right now that we should NOT under ANY circumstances go the back way."

Gaara gave Naruto a taste of his infamous death glare until Naruto started getting nervous. "You are going the back way or else..." Years of experience had taught Gaara that unfinished threats were by far the most effective. Sure enough, Naruto hmphed in defeat before pouting, "Fine, but if anything goes wrong it's your fault." Gaara ignored him as he led the way to the back of the Akatsuki lair.

When they got behind the lair, the coast was clear. The back door was right there with no traps or surveillance equipment to be seen. "I don't like this, Gaara. Its just too easy!" Naruto whispered nervously as they walked very slowly and very cautiously towards the door, "Gaara, I've got a really bad feeling about this...Lets just go back and go through the front door." Gaara's eye twitched involuntarily, "...No." After all he had gone through to get Naruto to go the back way, there was no way that his pride would let him turn back now.

Gaara reached for the door and opened it. The inside was pitch black, but nothing happened. Gaara turned around to face Naruto, "See? What did I tell you?" Naruto still wasn't convinced. He frowned into the darkness, "Gaara, I'm serious. This is waaaaay too easy!" Gaara just shrugged at him and entered the darkness. Naruto sighed and followed him in. As soon as the entered, the door closed and locked itself. Then they heard a squeak and clang as something else closed and locked. Finally, light flooded into the chamber.They were trapped inside of a cage in a chamber that looked like a well with a deep pit. Above them was a room where the light filtered down on them.

"I knew it! I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!" Naruto was screaming at Gaara. Gaara on the other hand was looking down. He gave an audible gulp as he said shakily, "Naruto...Please tell me that you're not seeing what I'm seeing down there..." Naruto peered down into the darkness. At first, he couldn't see anything, but then he made out some figures moving in the darkness and blood red eyes gleaming up hungrily at them. "Oh," He said sounding surprisingly calm, "It looks like a bunch of rabid and starving giant black rats to me..." It was at that moment that Naruto got the scare of his life because Gaara, thats right people, Sabaku no Gaara panicked.

Then as Naruto was frantically trying to calm Gaara down he heard a clanking sound as a hidden mechanism in the wall released the cage in a terrifying freefall. Now, both Naruto and Gaara grabbed each other and were screaming bloody murder as they were plummeting to a death by being eaten alive by big, rabid, starving rats. "Wait! We can still get out!" Naruto shouted desperately as he began powering up the rasengan, only to find that the cage absorbed his chakra! Gaara quickly tried to manipulate his sand, but it fell lifelessly into the mass of rats just two feet below them.

"No. No! NOO!!!!!" Naruto screamed, "It can't end like this!" The cage gave a particularly hard jolt as it suddenly came to a halt just out of the rats' reach. The jolt shook a packet of instant ramen from Naruto's pouch, and it slid from the pouch through the floor of the cage. "Hm?" Naruto said in surprise, then despair, "NOT THE RAMEN!!!!!! WHY?!!!!!!!" Gaara on the other hand was ecstatic. "Naruto, look!!!" Naruto wiped his tears away and saw that the rats were killing each other for the ramen packet.

By the time their cage reached the bottom of the rat pit, the rats were all dead, except for the last one who saw the look on Gaara's face and died of an instant heart attack. To Naruto's delight, the ramen was untouched, but it was still out of his reach. "Now, how to get out," Gaara pondered. "Oh," Naruto said, "We can use my lock picking kit." He said whipping out a lock picking set and expertly picked the lock. Gaara's glare was almost intense enough to burn through steel. "Do you mean to tell me that you could have picked that lock this entire time?" His glare and anger were wasted on Naruto who was too busy cuddling his precious ramen to notice.

Gaara just shook his head and started climbing up the wall of the pit using the old tree walking trick with Naruto following at a semi-safe distance. The room was primarily made of the entrance where they walked into the cage, the rat pit, an observation platform, and the exit. The boys were getting a little nervous because the people they were going to rescue Akira from were actually depraved enough to watch people get eaten alive by rats. They exchanged looks before opening the door and entering the next room.

As soon as they entered, the back door disappeared, and the room transformed into a jungle. Gaara and Naruto whipped out their kunai and began hacking and slashing their way through the thick undergrowth. After about half an hour of chopping through vines and bamboo, they finally made it to a clearing with a giant tree stump in the middle of it. "Okay, what's a tree stump doing here?" Naruto asked. "Naruto," Gaara said, "What's a jungle doing here?" Naruto just shrugged in response.

Suddenly, the vines wrapped themselves around Gaara and Naruto and held them facing the tree stump. Gaara attempted to crush the vines with his sand while Naruto used the Kyuubi's chakra, but all of their attempts at escape were futile. Just when they had given up hope of getting free, they heard two Tarzan like yellls from the trees and Lee and Gai in all their green spandex glory came flying from the trees to land on the giant tree stump. "Its bushy brows and his sensei! We're saved!" Naruto yelled happily, and for once Gaara was glad to see them too.

However, Gai and Lee whipped out microphones from thin air. "Are you ready for some fun? Then lets hit it!" Gai said while doing his youthful posing. Naruto and Gaara sweatdropped as the Tarzan song intro started playing. (AN: dodges fine, I don't own the Tarzan song or its lyrics or anything affiliated to it) During the intro Lee and Gai were standing with their backs to Naruto and Gaara, and they were wiggling their tushes and doing disco points. Yeah...Now, the vines were holding the boys' eyelids open and forcing them to watch the most traumatizing spectacle of their young lives.

Lee whipped around and sang in a freakily girly sounding falsetto,"oo-ee-oo-ee-oo-ee-oo-ee-oo-ee-ay!" Gai turned around and announced with a youthful pose that had a sunset with the waves crashing in the background, "Deep in the jungle, in the land of adventure, lives tarzan!" Then they did a very bad imitation of a moon walk as Lee sang, "oo-ee-oo-ee-oo-ee-oo-ee-oo-ee-ay! I am Jane and I love to ride an elephant!"

Then they locked arms and started doing the can can kicks while Gai sang, "My name is Tarzan, I am jungle man." They continued with the high kicks while Lee sang in that same girly falsetto, "The tree-top swinger from jungle land." Then Gai swept Lee into his arms as he sang, "Come, baby, come, I will take you for a swing!" Lee put a thumb to his lips in what was supposed to be a cute innocent look as he sang, "Let's go honey I'm tinkeling!"

Then Lee hopped out of Gai's arms and fell down as Gai did the nice guy pose while Lee sang in adoration, "Tarzan is handsome Tarzan is strong. He is really cute and his hair is long. Tarzan is handsome Tarzan is strong. So listen to the jungle song." Then they got up and went to the edge of the tree stump and looked at Naruto and Gaara while Lee was singing, "oo-ee-oo-ee-oo-ee-oo-ee-oo-ee-ay!" Gai pointed at Naruto and Gaara as he sang, "I am Tarzan, you can be my friend!" Then Lee pointed at himself like he was introducing himself, "I am Jane, and I love to ride an elephant."

The song was half over, and Naruto and Gaara were disturbed beyond all reason. However, things were about to get stranger because, well...You'll have to read this to believe it, but this next part is a little risque so those of you with weak constitutions please skip. Gai and Lee turned so that they were showing their sides to Naruto and Gaara, and Gai bent down as Lee started spanking him as he sang, "When you touch me, I feel funny." Then they turned around, and Gai started spanking Lee as Lee sang, "I feel it too when you're touching me."

Okay, Risque Moment Is OVER. Gai and Lee started doing a hula dance as Gai sang, "Come to my tree-house, come to my party." Lee sang in his falsetto reply, "Yes, I'll go if you carry me." Then Lee started bowing to Gai as he flexed his muscles, and they both sang, "Tarzan is handsome, full of surprise. He's really cute and his hair is nice. Tarzan is handsome, Tarzan is strong so listen to the jungle song!" Next, they started dancing crazy and all over the place as they chanted, "Go cheetah, get bannana! Go monkey, get funky! Go cheetah, get bannana! Go monkey, get funky!"

At this point, Naruto and Gaara truly believed that it couldn't possibly get any freakier then this. Oh, how wrong they were. Gai leaped off the stage in a magnificent taijutsu display, and he stood right behind Naruto and Gaara as he sang, "When I'm dancing, I feel funky!" Lee leaped down and landed right in front of Gaara and Naruto. Then he sang with the tears streaming from his eyes, "Why do you keep ignoring me?!" They heard Gai sing from behind them, "Tarzan is here come kiss me baby!" Oh no, they wouldn't...(AN: No of course not, I don't do yaoi)

Lee leaned close to Naruto and Gaara. He was just an inch away from their faces as he tickled them under their chins while singing softly, "Oochi, koochie, kiss me tenderly." Just when Gaara and Naruto thought Lee was actually going to kiss them, Lee and Gai jumped back onto the stage leaving two boys with hairs standing on end and who were too terrified to move. Gai and Lee started swinging their hips to show off what their mamas gave them as they sang, "Tarzan is handsome, Tarzan is strong. He's really cute and his hair is long. Tarzan is handsome, Tarzan is strong. So listen to the jungle song!"

Lee jumped off the stump and released Naruto and Gaara from the vines as Gai finished the routine by saying, "Thank you for watching the simulations of Gai and Lee. Now, to get the heck out of here take the door to your left. To go on into the heart of the Akatsuki lair please take the door to your right. Have a youthful day!" Then the genjutsu, yes it was a genjutsu, lifted and the two doors became visible.

"That was the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life, dattebayo," Naruto said shakily. Gaara just nodded, too shocked to say anything at all. "We've got to keep going. These people are evil. Who knows what they've done to Akira?!" Naruto continued, getting his second wind. Gaara nodded, still too shocked to think straight as he followed Naruto through the door on the right.

They didn't even see the Mangeyoku Sharingan coming. Naruto and Gaara were in the world of the Tsukiyomi before they even realized what had hit them. Naruto and Gaara were tied to crosses and were getting their first good look at their soon to be tormenter. Itachi Uchiha was giving them a grin that would've put Akira and Myobi to shame. "Itachi!" Naruto spat. A look of understanding passed across Gaara's face as he realized what was going on, and he glared defiantly at Itachi, "Uchiha, I should've known that they'd send you..."

Itachi lost the sadistic grin and looked...sad. Uh-huh, you heard me, sad. "Actually, I'm not really here. You see we just recently came under new management, and the new leader set up this room to unleash the Tsukiyomi genjutsu on anyone who enters without an Akatsuki ring. So I can't actually torture you in person, but don't worry your pain and deaths will be quite real." With that being said, he began the torture. WARNING: If you can't stand torture sequences, don't read. Starting with one sword, he pierced each of them ever so slowly through their bellies. Then on the second set he swiftly impaled them verically. On the third, he quickly chopped their limbs off before stabbing their hearts.The fourth time he slowly cut the inches off of them, starting with their feet and slowly working his way up their bodies until they bled to death.

TORTURE SEQUENCE OVER. On and on the torture proceeded until even Naruto was no longer sure how much more he could take. Suddenly, Gaara had an idea. It was a long shot and he didn't know if it would work on the fake Itachi, but he had to try something. Gaara gave Itachi a triumphant look, "I've figured out your secret." "What?" Itachi asked, slightly taken a back. "I know your one weakness," Gaara continued. "No..." Itachi gasped, absolutely horrified, "You're...you're lying!" "I brought it with me..." Gaara taunted. "SHUT UP!!!!" Itachi screamed.

Naruto finally caught on to what Gaara was doing, and he noticed that Gaara was looking at him for help because he obviously didn't know what to say next. Naruto shouted, "Yeah, the men's dark chocolate pocky is in our pockets in the real world!!!" Gaara sweatdropped as Itachi death wailed while the world of the Tsukiyomi shattered around them. As soon as they were released, Gaara and Naruto both collapsed out of physical and mental exhaustion. Gaara weakly turned his head so he could look at Naruto.

"Pocky? Pocky?!" He yelled in disbelief. "What?" Naruto asked equally as weak, "Everyone in Konoha knows that Itachi is a helpless pocky addict." If Gaara had the energy, he would have banged his head on the wall. He watched Naruto struggle slowly to his feet. "Get up, Gaara," Naruto said, exhausted, "We've got to save Akira. These guys are sick. Who knows what they're doing to her right now." Gaara realized that Naruto did have a point, and he weakly got up. They both walked slowly to the door, using the wall to support themselves. They entered the next room.

This room wasn't a room at all. It was a hallway. There were five doors on each side of it, and the boys could hear music playing and saw lights flashing through the door at the end of the hall. They limped to the end of the hallway and stood beside the door. They could definitely hear music on the other side of it. "What?" Naruto whispered completely confused. If Gaara had an eyebrow, it would have been raised. A door with music playing wasn't what anyone would have expected. They slowly cracked open the door, and what they saw was so shocking, so disturbing, and so unimaginably horrible that they did anime falls that sent them tumbling into the middle of the room.

You see, the Akatsuki group. Those well beloved evil teenage gangsters who are out to take over the shinobi world were on a karioke stage singing the macho man song with flashing disco lights in the background. (AN: just to avoid the heavy fines, I don't own the macho man song) Well, as soon as Gaara and Naruto face faulted and rolled into the center of the room, Deidara ran over and killed the music. "Jeez, it took you guys long enough," said a very familiar voice. They looked up to see Akira sitting on the black leather couch drinking a milk shake.

"Akira, you're okay!!" Naruto screamed joyfully as he jumped up and glomped her. "Naruto...can't breathe..." Akira gasped. Naruto quickly released her. On the other hand, Gaara was less then happy. "We went through all that," Gaara seethed, "and you were having A PARTY!" Akira gave him the what-are-you-talking-about look. Then she peered really closely at Naruto. "You went the backway?" She said like she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Yes, we went the back way!" Gaara retorted.

"I'm assuming that means that you didn't see the note. Tobi, bring the note from the front door," Akira ordered. "Note?" Naruto asked. "Hand him the note, Tobi." Tobi handed Naruto the note, and Naruto read, "Dear Naruto and Gaara, I know that you'll come to rescue me, but don't worry about it. I took over the Akatsuki for kicks! We're having a party to celebrate my initiation as leader. Please feel free to come any time, I've told the guys to let you in unharmed. Oh, and don't go the back way. We've just finished installing some nasty traps that will scar you for life. Hugs. Akira."

Naruto looked at Akira, "So we did all of that for nothing?!" Akira nodded and started to back away very slowly. Then Naruto gave Gaara the death glare to end all death glares. "Don't go through the front door, you said. We should go through the back, you said. We were almost EATEN ALIVE, we watched GAI AND LEE singing and dancing, and we were tortured by the TSUKIYOMI just because you just had to go the back way!!!!!!" Gaara got down on his hands and knees and started banging his head on the hard wood floor, but it didn't work because his sand protected him. Meanwhile, Naruto was still shouting, "I TOLD YOU!!! I TOLD YOU!!!"

"Yes, I'M SORRY!!! I'm sorry okay! I should have trusted you, and I'm sorry," Gaara apologized. "It's okay, don't mention it," Naruto forgave him. The most heavenly aroma fell upon Naruto's nose at that moment as Akira handed him a whole pot of miso ramen. "Here you go, Naruto-kun," Akira said placatingly, "I swear this batch is clean." Naruto needed no second bidding as he started feeding his face like there was no tomorrow. Then Akira handed Gaara a bowl of chocolate ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top. "Thank you," Gaara said as he too began eating. "No thank you for coming to help me," Akira said, and this time she meant it.

"Um, Leader-sama?" Sasori asked, "Is it wise to let them in just now. What about the plan?" Akira looked like she was trying her best to be patient when she replied, "Now, now Sasori-kun. Don't worry your pretty head about anything. As a matter of fact, I need them for my plans to succeed." "Pretty? You think that I'm pretty?" Sasori asked. "Show of hands," Akira proclaimed loudly, "Who thinks that Sasori-kun is pretty?" Everyone raised their hands. "Yep," Akira said, "Dude, you're pretty." Sasori blushed and sat down.

Gaara looked up from his ice cream, "You mentioned a plan?" Akira gave him her trademark evil grin. "Yes, un," Deidara said enthusiastically, "Leader-sama is a genius. The greatest evil genius this world has ever seen, un! She's even more brilliant than the old Leader-sama, un!" Naruto, who had finished the gigantic pot of ramen, was now paying attention. He looked at Akira suspiciously. "So what exactly have you got up your sleeve this time?"

AN: What is Akira planning now? Will Naruto and Gaara help her, or try to stop her? What random craziness will happen next? Find out next time, and Merry Christmas to everyone who reads this story.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Hi everyone! Thanx for the reviews! A special thank you to Chibi Twylight for making a drawing of Akira. Sorry it took so long to update, but homework and holiday madness will do that to you. Oh, and as a special quote to this chapter I have to say that I don't own Shakespear's Hamlet, and yes it's the quote where he's holding up the skull. I borrowed it shamelessly. Well, here's chapter 7! Tobi do the disclaimer!

Tobi: Tobi will do the disclaimer because Tobi is a good boy. Chibi PO'd Hiei does not own Naruto. Chibi PO'd Hiei admits this because Chibi PO'd Hiei is a good author.

Me: Aww thanx. Now to the fan fiction!

Recap: Naruto, who had finished the gigantic pot of ramen, was now paying attention. He looked at Akira suspiciously. "So what exactly have you got up your sleeve this time?"

Akira grinned like a cheshire cat, "The plan is absolutely fool proof and will give us control of the entire universe! It's so simple, but so effective. What we'll do is-" However, Naruto never heard what Akira's plan was because Hidan cut her off before she could finish, "Leader-sama! We're out of food!" "What?! You guys couldn't have eaten everything already!" Around the room was proof of some seriously intense snacking. Soda cans were piled as high as Itachi, while potatoe chips, crumbs, pizza crusts, and candy wrappers littered the floor. In the kitchen the sink and dishwasher were overflowing with dishes, pots, and pans.

Naruto and Gaara were anime sweatdropping as they took in the devastation. It was then that Akira blew a whistle that reverbrated several times and got everyone's attention. "Alright, everyone. This is how it's going down. Naruto, Gaara, Itachi, and Sasori you're with me. Our mission is to go to the Safeway and the Costco to retrieve the rations. Tobi and Kisame, it's your duty to clean the kitchen and scour the pots and pans. Kakuzu, calculate the food budget and get the available funds to me before we leave. Konan, Hidan, and Deidara try to clean the living room. Zetsu set up some plants to keep a look out. MOVE IT PEOPLE!"

The Akatsuki plus Naruto and Gaara leaped into action. Kakuzu handed over the money within minutes. Tobi was cleaning the kitchen counters while Kisame washed the dishes with his water techniques. Zetsu was nowhere to be found and was presumably setting up the perimeter. Konan, Hidan, and Deidara put on maid outfits and rubber gloves before wading into the trashed living room. Seeing that the situation was under control, Akira led the way out of the lair and into the sunshine where she hissed. Gaara raised an eyebrow at her, and Naruto said, "I won't ask."

After a few hours of running at hyper ninja speed, they arrived at the Safeway where the food was on a clearance sale. "Alright, put on the riot gear everyone. This is an S-ranked mission, and we need to be careful," Akira stated. "Akira," Naruto said exasperatedly, "It's a grocery store. You go in, you buy food, and you come out. It's hardly a-" Itachi clamped a hand over Naruto's mouth, "Forgive him Leader-sama. He's an idiot." Akira nodded and dived through the store's sliding door.

As Akira swiped a cart, Itachi removed his hand from Naruto's mouth. "Geez, what did you do that for?" Naruto complained. "Because moron," Sasori responded, "We're getting paid to do an S-ranked mission, and all we have to do is get food!" "Oh, heh, my bad," Naruto apologized. "Let's just go before she gets done and none of us get paid," Itachi stated. With that being said, the two S-ranked criminals with Naruto and Gaara entered the Safeway.

That was when all heck broke loose. Everything was half off, and the people were going nuts. Itachi grabbed a cart and started joy riding around the store while laughing insanely. Gaara was looking at the selection of gourds and testing them by terrorizing any unfortunate soul who happened to pass by. Naruto ran straight to the ramen aisle and began to worship the ramen, complete with bowing and praising the ramen god. Sasori and Akira were fighting against the never ending flow of shoppers, who kept trying to grab the food off the shelves before Akira and Sasori could.

Akira was just manuvering the cart around the corner, and through the exremely crowded aisle towards the frozen food section when Naruto came running up with an entire cartload of ramen. Akira's eye ticked, "I don't care what you buy, but you're pushing that cart." Naruto was grinning from ear to ear as he nodded eagerly. Then they rounded the corner.

The frozen pizza's were on a five for ten dollars sale, and there were carts packed so tightly in the aisle that Akira couldn't get to them. "GAH! They're going to buy all the frozen pizza!" She yelled in frustration. At that very moment, Itachi came whizzing to the opposite end of the aisle. He grinned insanely at the sardine packed shoppers, as they all screamed in terror because they were too tightly squeezed in to flee to safety. He put one foot down to the floor and reved the wheels of the cart so that they started smoking before he took off.

Itachi bulleted through the crowd of people straight through to the side where Akira, Naruto, and Sasori were before barreling to the right and out of sight. Inside the aisle everything went into slow motion. People were flying through the air and over the sides of the aisle or were slammed into the glass doors of the freezers. Frozen peas scattered over the floor causing people to shoot out of the aisle as soon as they hit the ground. The carts had fired out of the aisle like cannon balls and were causing mayhem as they crashed into the people waiting in the check out lines. Someone's ice cream opened and splattered the entire aisle in sweet sugary goodness, while the frozen pizzas were launched into the air and landed neatly into Akira's cart.

"Well, that was convenient," Naruto said as they all proceeded to the next aisle. The rest of the frozen food gathering went very well. That is if you think the definition of very well means moving up the aisles at a snail's pace because you got stuck behind two women who were talking as their children ran around screaming bloody murder. With the frozen food shopping done, they headed to the check out lines where they met up with the others. Gaara was waiting at the head of the line with a cart full of gourds, fruits, and vegetables. Behind Gaara was Naruto and his cart of ramen, and Sasori was behind Naruto with a cart full of canned goods. Then it was Akira with the frozen foods.

Suddenly, Itachi came rocketing from out of nowhere and skidded the cart to a halt right behind Akira. He had somehow managed to pick up the meats, and he was still grinning maniacally as he said, "Meat sale aisle four, two for one special." They could only imagine how he had pulled that off. The next thing they knew the intercom was saying, "Clean up and an ambulance to aisle four, clean up and an ambulance to aisle four." Itachi just stood there innocently whistling. Moving on...

Akira managed to pay for the food without incident, and one of the Akatsuki's many minions came to take the food back to the lair for them so they could go directly to the Costco. Naruto's eyes were shifting everywhere with a hunted look. "Um, Akira," He said nervously, "Are there any special orders this time?" Akira sent him a critical look as she laid a hand on his shoulder, "Naruto, you're a nice guy. They'll eat you alive." With that she led the way into the vast Costco while a terrified Naruto trailed the group.

Now, Costco wasn't nearly as bad as the Safeway. It was much, much worse. The instant that he was inside, Itachi swiped a trench coat and a pair of sunglasses as he tried to act normal. The key word in that sentence was tried. Sasori climbed the stacks of products on the warehouse shelving and climbed into the rafters where he calmly observed the shopping madness. Akira was yet again fighting her way through the crowd like a salmon trying to swim upstream. Gaara, alas poor Gaara, I knew him well (AN: told you I borrowed it shamelessly). Gaara had run into his ex-fangirls from the ice maze. Those ladies were out for blood, and Gaara was running for his life, again.

Then there was Naruto. First, he saw a beautiful, affordable jacket that WAS NOT ORANGE! His eyes teared up with joy as he reached out to grab it, but he was denied as a group of little old asian women pushed him out of the way to look at the jacket. Naruto got up and glumly walked over to the book aisle where he saw the book How to Cook Ichiraku Ramen in Your Own Home. "Yatta!" He yelled as he reached for the book that would make all of his ramen dreams come true, but he was thrown out of the way by, get this, the same group of little old asian women! Naruto's face scrunched up as he observed them looking at the books.

His eyes darted back to the jackets, which were all still on the rack. He threw caution to the winds as he used his super ninja speed to rush back to the glorious jackets, but he was swiftly blocked by the little old ladies. Naruto glared at the women who dared to stand between him and a non-orange jacket. The light bulb went on in his brain, and he ran to the far end of the Costco. He pretended to be interested in the packet of water balloons. That's right, a packet of water balloons.

Sure enough, there came the trampling herd of little old ladies, and as soon as they got to where the balloons were Naruto used the shunshin jutsu to get back to the jackets in the blink of an eye only to find that they had all been taken by a group of other boys who had also been forced to wear ugly jackets. He fell to his knees and wept. The next thing that he knew he was thrown backwards into a bin of socks as the little old ladies rushed to look at the empty shelves. Then he was ruthlessly thrown out of the sock bin as the women started rifling through the socks. "I just can't win," Naruto sobbed.

Meanwhile, Akira had finally managed to fight her way to the baked goods aisle, but fate was not on her side. The muffins were blocked. She glanced around for her comrades. Itachi was still wearing that ridiculus outfit and was attempting to act like an innocent civilian. Sasori was hanging out up in the rafters. He just HAD to be clausterphobic at the one time he would have been useful. Gaara was in hiding, and she had no idea where he was. Luckily for him neither did his former fangirls. It was then that she noticed Naruto getting trampled by the little old ladies. "Naruto! Over here!" She shouted. Naruto ran to her as fast as he could while the little old ladies sulked. They had learned not to mess with Akira.

"Okay, Naruto. I really, really need your help. You'll be risking your life, but if this works I'll finally get my chocolate chocolate chip muffins!" Akira said enthusiasically. "Risk my life for MUFFINS?!" Naruto yelled incredulously. A dark aura surrounded Akira. She looked at him with Myobi's eyes as she growled, "If I don't get my muffins, heads will roll!" Naruto gulped and visibly trembled as he hastily tried to placate Akira, "I'll get the muffins! I'll get the muffins!" "Great," Akira said perking up, "Now here's what you do..."

There Naruto stood. Right next to the chips as he looked across the bakery section at Akira, waiting for her signal. He gulped as he prayed to every god that he could think of that he would be allowed to live through this. Akira gave the signal, and he took what may have been his last breath before bellowing, "Oh, wow, I've never seen such a great selection, dattebayo!" It started as a small rumbling that grew to an earth trembling shake as almost every customer in the Costco came running full throttle at Naruto.

As Naruto was getting trampled by the stamped of people, Akira finally got her muffins along with the other baked goods on her shopping list. The trampling was still going on when she turned around and saw Naruto flailing desperately from underneath the little old asian ladies. "EVERYBODY OFF OF HIM!" Akira yelled at the top of her lungs. The people scattered in a panic and flooded the exits of the Costco, leaving only Akira, Naruto, the two Akatsuki members, Gaara, and a few random workers. Akira pushed the cart over to the half conscious Naruto and gave him a piggy back ride as she wheeled the cart to the deserted check out line.

While she purchased the items, Sasori and Itachi rejoined the group. "Where's Gaara?" the half trampled to death Naruto asked. "Oh," Itachi replied, "I think that he's over by the food stand." They looked towards the food stand and saw a shock of red hair peeking over the counter top. The red hair was followed by two jade green eyes that darted back and forth before Gaara swung himself over the counter and ran to rejoin the group. Everything was going smoothly until they stepped outside of the Costco where Gaara's former fangirls had been waiting for him. If someone wrote that they were angry it would be the understatement of the century. These women were livid. As soon as they saw Gaara they charged, and the beating commenced.

While the ex-fangirls were beating the snot out of Gaara, Akira was tired and hungry after all of the insane shopping. In short, she was not a happy camper. "Itachi, why are you still wearing that stupid outfit?" She snapped. "Because of this," Itachi said as he opened the jacket to reveal rows of stolen pocky. "Itachi," Naruto said, "That's messed up!" Itachi whipped out a packet of men's dark chocolate pocky. His eyes went wide and chibi as he beheld his beloved pocky, and he devoured it with a disturbing amount of relish. "A little help here!" Gaara yelled desperately from under the dreaded pile of angry women.

"I forgot about him," Sasori stated, "Oh, well. I'm not passing up the opportunity to expand my puppet collection." One look at the creepy grin on Sasori's face was all it took to send the mob of angry women running away as fast as their legs could carry them. Sasori sighed in disappointment, "No one ever wants to become a puppet. People just don't appreciate art anymore." Everyone else started backing away slowly. "Um, to the lair?" Naruto suggested. That was a good idea so they all returned to the now clean and well stocked Akatsuki lair.

Akira set Naruto in the living room as Gaara painfully lowered himself into a leather armchair. Naruto crawled over to the couch, and he somehow managed to scramble onto it. "So," Gaara said turning to Naruto, "What happened to you?" Naruto bitterly replied, "Akira's chocolate chocolate chip muffins." Gaara went into shock as he repeated in disbelief, "You almost died for MUFFINS?!" Naruto sent him a slight glare as he retorted, "She was going to go on a killing spree! I couldn't let that happen!" Akira waited for Naruto and Gaara to finish talking before she asked, "So are you joining Akatsuki or not?"

AN: Oooh...What will they do? What's Akira's master plan? Will she ever actually eat her muffins?! Wait for the next chapter to find out! Muhahahaha! Oh, and before I forget I need to add this. I have nothing against little old asian ladies. I just used them because the Naruto world is in a Japanese type setting, and I thought it would be hilarious. Well, I hope that you enjoyed it!


	8. Chapter 8

AN: I know that I haven't updated in a long time, and I'm so sorry! I also realize that the last chapter that I updated had nothing to do with the plot whatsoever, but I just couldn't resist. I have had a gigantic case of writer's block with this story, and the only other ideas I could come up with involved the end of the story. Sadly, this is the final chapter. Also, this last chapter I play an active role in it so I hope that you guys don't mind, and I would just like to take this time to say...Thank you readers and reviewers for your support of my first ever fanfiction, you are all awesome!

"people talking"

AN: author talking

"**demon talking**"

Disclaimer: I wish that I could buy Naruto from Masashi Kishimoto, but sadly I don't have enough money...

Recap: Akira waited for Naruto and Gaara to finish talking before she asked, "So are you going to join Akatsuki or not?"

"It all depends on what the master plan is," Gaara said suspiciously. Akira instantly grinned like a cheshire cat, "Ah, my master plan. My brain child that will give me complete control over this world, no, this entire universe!" She proceeded to break out into insane laughter. "How can one person control the whole universe?" Naruto asked. Akira stopped laughing and began to talk seriously, "Naruto, one person is controlling our entire universe even as we speak." "That's impossible," Gaara stated flatly.

Akira sighed as she whipped out an ancient scroll, "According to this scroll there exists humans, demons, kamis, and a dimensional anomally that can alter the fabric of reality and create parallel universes in which it has complete control. The anomally controls the alternate realities by writing in a sacred manuscript, and it is known as an author." Gaara and Naruto exchanged looks. "You want us to believe that a writer from an alternate dimension is controlling our very existence?" Naruto asked in disbelief. "Yes," Akira replied. "And what does this have to do with the plan?" Gaara asked impatiently. "I'm going to steal that manuscript and make this universe mine," Akira replied with a sadistic smirk.

"That's interesting and all,"Naruto said, "But how are you even going to find the author?" Akira snapped her fingers and the Akatsuki surrounded Naruto and Gaara. "Yes, well, I've thought for a very long time on how to do just that," Akira said in an eerily animalistic voice, "And I've decided to give the author an ultimatum. So listen up author, either you teleport us to wherever you're at or else the three of us will unleash our bijuu on this world!" After a few minutes of waiting, nothing happened. Everyone was staring at Akira, who was growling at the ceiling. "Face it, Akira," Gaara said, "Authors don't exist."

AN: Gasp

Gaara continued, "And if there really was an author in charge it would have to be one sick"

AN: GASP!

"twisted"

AN: Grr...

"maniacal"

AN: He's really asking for it!

"stupid"

AN: That's it!

Gaara's voice faded as the room swayed around everyone. "Uh-oh!" Naruto panicked, "Gaara, I think that you pissed the author off!" Gaara's face went paler than usual, "It can't really do anything to me, right?" "Well," Akira said, "For all we know it could've created me!" "Oh my God..." Gaara stated in horror as they were all whisked out of their dimension and appeared in my backyard. "Gaara, you're standing in dog crap, un,"Deidara stated. Gaara moved aside and wiped his sandals on the grass in disgust.

AN: Ha! Take that! (Does happy dance)

Akira signalled Hidan who immediately ran through the glass door into the downstairs living room. The Akatsuki moved like secret agents through the downstairs living room to the door where they crowded around it, but out of direct view for fear of what they may discover on the other side. Akira nodded and Konan kicked the door in. The Akatsuki prepared for a fight, but nothing happened. The little hall leading to the stairs was empty.

AN: Oh crap! They're coming after me! (hides under bed) Kabuto, initiate the emergency intruder death system!

"Right away, ma'am!" Kabuto responded. The Akatsuki, Akira, Gaara, and Naruto were slowly creeping up the first flight of stairs when the stairs fell away with a tank of electric eels beneath! However, Akira quickly froze the pool before anyone could land in it. Then they all jumped out and began running up the second flight of stairs. The lights flared to life as the giant chandelier plummeted towards them. Everyone quickly applied chakra to their feet and leapt out of the way as it shattered on the floor, but the trap wasn't through with them yet. The crystal shards changed into crystal spikes and shot out in a three hundred sixty degree sphere of death!

Itachi quickly activated the sharingan and performed amaterasu, but the shards flew through unharmed. As certain death approached the ninja at a breakneck pace, Naruto began rapidly making handseals, and called, "Everyone get close to me and pray that this works!" Everyone used chakra to move next to Naruto who finished the jutsu right before the crystal spikes hit in a gigantic explosion. The needle sharp crystal debris cleared to reveal the mountain toad stomach! Naruto released the jutsu to show everyone standing together completely unharmed. They continued up the stairs and looked to the right. They saw the empty living room and kitchen. Then they all looked left down the hallway with an open door at the end.

AN: Curse you Jiraiya for teaching him that!

As Jiraiya is peeping on some women he suddenly sneezes, and they all turn on him in a rage and beat him to a bloody pulp!

AN: Muhahahaha!

Kabuto looks under the bed, "This is no time to be tormenting Jiraiya! They're at the entrance to the hall, and we're out of traps!"

AN: Kabuto, Kabuto, Kabuto...I'm never out of traps. (Gets out from under bed) It's almost showdown time!

Gaara sneaks over and whispers into Naruto's ear, "We can't let Akira get that manuscript." Naruto looks at him and whispered back, "I'll handle Akira. You go for the book." Gaara gave a slight nod in agreement before Akira turned to the group and gave the Akatsuki the signal to charge. As the seven most feared missing ninja in all of the shinobi nations charged down the narrow hall, there was a sudden bright light, and they were all turned into harmless frogs! "Oh, the author's good," Akira muttered in appreciation of an acceptional trap. "Great," Naruto pouted, "Just how are we supposed to get past that!"

Meanwhile, Kabuto was absolutely giddy with delight. "This is great! It's impossible for anyone other than us to disarm it!"

AN: Eh-heh-heh...Yeah, about that...It's still a prototype, and it's only good for one shot! Anyways, its time for us to make our grand appearance!

As Akira, Gaara, and Naruto were racking their brains for a way to get through the trap, Kabuto and I walked into the end of the hallway. "Eh?! KABUTO?!" Naruto screeched in shock. "What are you doing here?" Gaara growled menacingly. Akira scratched her nose, "Kabawhozits?" Naruto looked at her in shock, "Whoa! You're even farther out of the loop than me! Kabuto betrayed Konoha in the Sand/Sound invasion and was working for Orochimaru the whole time! They say that he's as strong as Kakashi-sensei!" "Oh, him," Akira said like she couldn't care less.

AN: Ahem, if you three are done monologuing we can get down to kicking your butts.

"Oh, yeah?!" Naruto yelled, "There's only two of you and there's three of us!"

AN: Oh for Pete's sake! Who's going to win a fight between you three, and Kabuto with an author who controls your very existence?!

"Me!" Kabuto yelled as he grabbed my manuscript and attempted to yank it out of my hands. However, I was stronger than he thought. I jerked it back out of his grasp, but the extra momentum flung me to the floor and the book landed half way down the hall!

AN: You're going to pay for that you traitor!

I leapt at Kabuto and landed a solid hit to his gut that sent him through the wall into my parents' bedroom. Then I dived for the manuscript, but I was pulled back by Kabuto's chakra strings. He tried to hit me with his medical ninjutsu technique, but I was too fast for him. I dodged his hands and broke the chakra strings. I countered with a leg sweep, but he jumped into the air at the last minute and aimed a punch at my head. I leaned my head back at the last possible second and could feel the rush of wind as his punch missed me with no space to spare. I aimed a punch and kick combination at him as he landed was rewarded with the satisfying sounds of breaking bones as my fists and feet found their marks on his body, but he quickly regenerated his wounds. Then he popped a soldier pill into his mouth and used the shadow senbon technique to send a hundred senbon at me, but I used my author powers to knock them all out of the air before I charged him again.

While Kabuto and I were preoccupied with trying to kill each other, Akira saw her chance to grab the book. She made a quick dive for it, but Naruto ran up and tackled her from behind. "Naruto, get off!" She growled. "Not a chance!" Naruto grunted as he tried to restrain her. "Myobi!" She shrieked as a black chakra enveloped her body and sent Naruto flying backwards. The black chakra ripped the roof off as the eight tailed Myobi made a second sadistic appearance. Naruto rapidly did the handseals and bit his thumb. He drew the blood across the seal on his gut, "Here goes nothing...Demon summons: Kyuubi no Kitsune!" In a giant explosion of red chakra that took out half my house, the great Kyuubi rose in a giant red vortex of chaos, "**Hahahaha! I'm finally free from that accursed seal**!" "**Kyuubi**!" Myobi snarled, **"Today I will rip your retched hide to pieces and feast on your marrow**!"

In response the demon king swiftly moved behind Myobi and clawed at his left flank. Myobi twisted his giant body out of the way and sent a maelstrom of ice at Kyuubi who countered with a giant fox made entirely of fire that melted the ice on contact and enveloped the whole area in a dense fog. The decreased visibility made no difference to the two demon lords who had both amazing senses and the ability to sense each other's chakra presence. The continued to claw and bite each other, moving like deadly shadows in the mist. Kyuubi pushed his chakra to the wounds which hissed closed as soon as the chakra reached them. Myobi performed his infamous Howl of Pain technique, which is when he howls his wounds are healed by transferring them onto his opponent. While Kyuubi was healing both sets of wounds, Myobi released an impossibly large amount of chakra, and with a wave of his tails he encased the entire battle ground in ice before he merged his body within the now ice wasteland.

Kyuubi silently cursed the Myobi and quickly began formulating a plan. However, he didn't have much time because Myobi began using a hit and run strategy. He never appeared long enough for Kyuubi to counter and was beginning to deal some nasty bites to the great fox. Unfortunately for the wolf, Kyuubi wasn't out of the fight by a long shot. Kyuubi's mind quickly came up with a brilliant counter. They were both still attached to the jinchuuriki which made the point on their heads where their vessels were half submerged their weakest points. Kyuubi shifted his weight in preparation. He only had one shot to make his plan succeed. Kyuubi waited for the Myobi's head to rise out of the ice before he struck. He quickly lashed out with his claws and forced Myobi's body out of the ice then he used his superior chakra to prevent him from remerging with the ice. Myobi wouldn't accept defeat, not yet. He quickly countered by visciously charging into Kyuubi, and both demons toppled to the ground in a tangle of fur, blood, and massive amounts of chakra. Needless to say their combined chakra and grappling destroyed everything in their paths.

Yet throughout the destructive death match of the two demons, the remaining half of my house somehow managed to remain intact. The nine Akatsuki members had regained their bearings and were hopping for the book as fast as their cute little froggie legs could carry them. It's Itachi in the lead with Konan and Sasori both only half a leap behind. Deidara and Hidan are moving hop for hop just behind them. Kakuzu, Zetsu, and Kisame are in a respectable tie for fourth, and Tobi is bringing up the rear. They enter the homestretch, and Itachi is pulling away from the pack. It looks like Itachi will be the-whoa! There goes Gaara's sand from all the way at the other end of the hall! It's passing the other members and rapidly gaining on Itachi! Itachi sees and speeds up, but the sand is right behind him. Now, they're side by side within a few leaps of the book. Itachi! The sand! Itachi! The sand! And...

The sand grabs the book at the last possible second! It swirls in a small dust devil and transports neatly into Gaara's hands. As soon as the book lands in the palms of his hands, the entire scene swirls around him. He sees everything going in reverse. He watches as all the events of the past weeks roar around him, and even after the whole mess with Akira started. The scene rolls on until it hits the day where Naruto was blamed for Sasuke's deflection. Gaara's and Naruto's eyes widen as the decision was repealed. They floated outside of the scene looking on. The Akatsuki had returned to their original hideout with Pein as leader, and the demons had returned to their seals. "What the heck is going on?!" Naruto yelled confused as he and Gaara landed on the Hokage monument with the whole world around them frozen in time. Akira and I landed next to them.

AN: Allow me to explain. I created Akira, but she didn't have any friends and I was too busy to pay enough attention to her. So I distorted your reality to make a play ground for her. Unfortunately, she wanted me to play too.

Akira walked over to Naruto and Gaara with a big grin on her face, "I told you that you'd know the Game when you saw it. You're living in it!" "But everything just changed," Gaara stated in confusion. Akira looked sad as she replied, "Your world has reverted to its original theme as though I never existed." "Why?" Naruto asked. "Because," Akira said with a ghost of a smile on her lips, "You just won the Game." Both Naruto and Gaara exchanged looks before the significance of what Akira said hit them. There was no need for words. Everyone understood what needed to be done. Gaara put the pen to the paper and wrote:

_The End_


End file.
